Sunday, July 8, 2012

Of the Spiritual

I find myself deep within a realm of change.
And exploring my spiritual self.

Growing up I was raised Baptist.
I was taught all I needed to know about the world.
So I thought.

I was always lost and conflicted.

As a kid I would lose myself in nature in a sense that contradicted what I was taught as a Baptist.
I felt attached to it in a magickal sense.
I felt like my thoughts could connect with the wind, like I could almost control it.

That was not okay with the teachings of Christianity. 
I buried those thoughts and feelings.
I lost a part of me.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago.
Leena's birth awakened parts of me I had long lost.

Slowly it started with the way I looked at childbirth.
Then it went on to the change I made in my eating habits.
I changed my lifestyle.
It snowballed and turned into this Spiritual Awakening.
My body was cleaned so my mind is clearing.

This year is the year to explore all these thoughts I've slowly been letting loose.
Penelope's birth has once again shook my core and I'm building up my new foundation.

Honoring my true self.
Honoring Gaia.

When people ask me what it is I believe in I give a short answer.
I believe in God.
I usually do not find myself divulging much farther than that.

God, as the Christians honor, I'm not so sure.

The earth is God.
God is not some supreme being giving us minds to rationalize and then telling us not to use that ability.

I've been so afraid to let it be known that I do not follow the God I was taught to follow as a child.
I've been worried that people will judge me as I've judged others in the past for the beliefs I now hold as truths.

I am no longer afraid.

I do not need saving.

 So, what am I?

I am not a religion.

I am me.

Peace and Love.

I, in no way, find you or anyone else of the Christian following any less than I.

We all have our own paths and own personal truths.


rain :: said...

this fascinates me so much. i've gone through such a spiritual shift over the past few years...raised fundamentalist christian with years of recovery and healing from that. right now the best thing i can say is that i'm free. i believe in the creator and the spirit and that love is the most important thing of all, to love and be loved. life is such a journey, isn't it!

Kamika said...

YES YES YES! Motherhood is so awakening and empowering! I just wrote about this myself. There has been a great shift occuring in me ever since Claire was born, and the more she grows the more I do to

Rachael TreeTalker said...

This is SOOO similar to my story! I was raised LDS, and I never understood it. I was like you, I talked to trees, they had a spirit to me. But my religion argued. I don't think I ever really buried the feelings though, because there was my instinct that I was born with, and then there was the religion I was brought up to believe. It took me a little while to finally be brave and denounce that religion. But, I'm so glad I did. I feel free!