Saturday, September 4, 2010

Antibiotics:A Rant

Today started out as any normal "sick" day would. Leena, up early and ready to run but quickly realizing she doesn't have as much steam as normal. We lazed around. Watched movies. I cleaned up a bit and everything was going fine. However come 3:30 pm it turned into a long day/night. Leena was walking around with one of our little bowls, because her new favorite thing to do is pretend cook, and tripped. She landed brow bone down on the edge of the bowl and she fell HARD. Instantly she was extremely lethargic and screaming at the same time. I cuddled her and put an ice pack on her forehead. She didn't seem herself. I panic. I took her into the ER. A past memory of mine has left me with the emotional scar which causes me to panic over a bump on the head which thankfully, Leena has not had many, especially not as hard as it was tonight. We make the minute drive to the ER and they look at me like I am slightly insane, considering once Leena sees other people she puts on a happy go lucky show. I don't mess around with head injuries folks. We finally go back into a room, we got so lucky and got the room that is the corridor from the triage and admitting to the ER lobby. So people were milling in and out of our room. Nice. The nurse asks me all the normal questions and says, "I don't think we'll have to do anything. She seems perfectly fine." The doctor checked her lungs, heart rate all that jazz and said her lungs sounded crummy, like she was getting pneumonia. Great. He then ordered an x-ray and cat scan to make sure she was totally 100% okay. They brought in the x-ray machine and put the "block" on my stomach with the obligatory "No chance you're pregnant momma?" so she could rest on me while they took it. Then off to the cat scan room. She was so brave. She laid in the on the bed with her head in the little head rest, with the strap on and didn't move when we told her not to. She held my hand the whole time and I told her she was doing great. The look of fear in her eyes killed me though. I asked her if the machine sounded like an airplane. She agreed. When the table came out of the machine I asked her if she had fun and she said, "Was that fun momma?" Brave I tell you. Then the news came in. Cat scan perfect, x-ray showed the beginnings of pneumonia though. The doctor said he'd like to put her on antibiotics, ugh, and that he'd like to give her a something or other shot of antibiotics to get her started. I forgot the acronym he used. He asked if I had any questions and I said, "Yes, is there anything OTHER than antibiotics that could help?" He looked at me like I had a third eye. I told him I only give her antibiotics if it's an absolute must. Again, the look like I just kicked his cat. He said I could ask my pediatrician but that wouldn't be till Monday and then gave me the guilt trip, "It could get a lot worse by then." Thanks doc. Thanks for that. I know, the only really effective cure, as far as I know, for pneumonia is antibiotics. But with the way doctors seem to prescribe them for anything and everything now a days I am very weary when that word gets brought up. I agree. He walks out. I cry. I feel I caved and Leena would have to pay the price for it. I pull myself together, telling myself, this is just one round of antibiotics, it's the most effective thing for her. Afterall, I don't want her to get pleurisy or have to end up getting an thoracentesis (thanks babe for showing me a video of one of those. barf.). I just hope she doesn't end up getting the bubonic plague and antibiotics be ineffectual because her body built up an immunity to them. Just sayin'. After about 30 minutes and a sleeping Leena later, a man and woman nurse come in and ask me if I am ready. The male nurse says I probably wouldn't want to hold her for it. It what? I told her I had no idea what they were doing. They said they were giving her a shot for the antibiotics. Okay, what's the problem? I asked if it was going to burn and hurt her and they said yes. Woo, more guilt. I told them she needed to be awake for it and the two male nurses suggested it might be better if she was sleeping. I said, "No way are you giving her a shot while she is asleep." We worked on waking her up because she was out. She woke up a bit and was grumpy that she was being woken up so again, they said, "We can do it while she sleeps." NO! I don't want her to have a lifetime of nightmares and having sleep problems because someone jammed her with a needle then injected medicine that burns into her while she was sleeping. Not happening. I know I would be traumatized and be fearful every time I went to sleep after an experience like that. We laid her on her belly and I held her hand and looked into her eyes and talked to her, trying to keep her awake. Mr. Maucho put his arm across her back so she didn't fling herself up, poor woman nurse held her feet, feeling mine and Leena sorrow I could tell and Mr. I've got a needle in my hand jammed her in her tush, rather hard I might add, and injected her with a liquid dose of hell. She screamed, bloody murder. A look of sheer terror crossed her face and she turned away from me to scream at the nurse holding her down. I bawled. I feel like the worse mom ever. Why would I put her through such pain for something that I feel there could be a better, gentler, more natural way to do? I collected myself just long enough to walk from that cold, scary exam room into the little corridor we were shoved into and I held Leena so tight and cried my eyes out. She snuggled into my neck and the woman nurse offered Leena the world. (The world for a two year old at least, coloring books, stickers, you name it.) Leena refused but when the woman handed her stickers she took them and held them for dear life. Paper work was gone over and then I asked to use the rest room. Leena gave everyone in the ER lobby the death stare as we walked past. We waited another 20 minutes for them to observe her to make sure she didn't have a reaction. She is allergic to an antibiotic but I couldn't remember at that time which one it was. I think it just so happens to be the one they sent me home with a prescription for. There will be calls made on Monday to her pediatrician to find out...which who knows if they will actually be open. I told Leena she could have anything she wanted for dinner. (insert sarcasm)That's called being an awesome mom right there. Making up for stabbing her with a needle with food. Go me! She picked a sandwich from Roly Poly and frozen yogurt. You got it! We ate it in the car since Leena is hacking and came home. She was wired from the antibiotics I am guessing and just now went down for bed. I am hoping she'll sleep in for her sake tomorrow morning. Now I am off to cuddle with my love bug for the night.

Peace and Love.

P.S. Send my baby lots of good vibes and prayers.


Violet Bella said...

baby leena. i could picture all of her little faces throughout the course of this picture. bless her little heart. and your momma for having to make the hard decisions. love you girls!

O Bella Naturals said...

Ohhhh Katelyn, I know how hard those decisions are, especially when you're faced with medical personal who have zero compassion and you're another run of the mill patient. I have been there done that, they want you in and out and they do standard procedure just like always. I'm praying for little Leena's lungs, that they heal quickly. You both are brave! Lots of hugs to you and Leena!

Peace Love and Leener said...

Laura, it was heartbreaking. I really did bawl during the shot and after. They must've thought I was crazy. My poor bebe.
Betsy, I feel I made the right decision but I still have a broken heart having to put her through that. Looking at the photo I posted on this blog makes me want to cry everytime. :/

Kamika said...

Oh I was crying along with you in this post! You are a very wise and caring mother, I would have done the same as you and had the same thoughts. You are right to question unnecessary use of anti-biotics, but there is a time and a place for all log as it isnt abused. Sending loving vibes to your child

Peace Love and Leener said...

Thank you Kamika. That means a lot to me. You are a very caring person. :)