Monday, May 10, 2010

Blessed

I can never fully fathom just how blessed I am. I take it for granted. Oh how I take it for granted. God never stops showing me all the ways I am blessed. I get stuck in ruts and get frustrated over the stupidest things. I get frustrated over having to travel alone with a toddler forgetting just how amazing it is I get to travel to California in less than a week. Stress of anything doesn't seem to sit well in my mind and heart. I will get through it. I am strong. I just doubt. Doubt is a nasty little creature. He sneaks up when you least expect it and it takes you for a ride like no other.

My daughter is the most beautiful person to ever walk the face of the planet. Yes I am biased, BUT here's the thing, she has changed me. Changed me into a person I never thought I would be. In a good way. I only wish I could give her everything she's ever given me. All the love, all the joy, all the innocent wonder and appreciation for every living and non living thing. I hope I can lead her the right way. Teach her all she needs to know. Not educational type things like 1+1=2 but that you stand up for what you believe in, don't be afraid of who you are, who you love, where you want to go in life.

I could've never imagined that I would find the perfect man for me so young. It's amazing. He's stood by me at my worst of times and how he is still standing by me just goes to show just how truly wonderful he is. He has given me the world. The ability to stay home with your daughter is the greatest gift any person could ever know and receive.

I hope I can shake whatever it is that is holding me back, pushing me down, keeping me down. Getting one step closer to getting the Mirena taken out is a leap of faith and a hope that I will become a much better mother and wife.

As I listen to "Lullaby" right now by the Dixie Chicks the words "How long do you want to be loved? Is forever enough 'cause I'm never ever giving you up" I can't help but think of just how much those words apply in this household. Through all our mistakes and misgivings we go through separately or as a family, we always always love and lift each other up. Even if it's not apparent at first sight for some, the love is there, the love is fierce and the love is strong. It may be rough around the edges but for those of you who break through the barrier know that we are a family that loves, fully loves with our whole hearts.

These last few days have been filled with so much love I could burst. Between friends that, even if we may not see each other for long bouts of time, you can just tell they care and the family that never quits on you when you feel like you've quit on yourself long ago, well that is just enough to make a girl smile from ear to ear, head to toe and across the entire universe.

This right here is peace. Joey was on his way home from work. Leena playing in her pool and me watching with a grin on my face and cup of coffee in my lap. I went for the longest time without much coffee and now it is one of my simple pleasures that just makes me uber happy.

Double duty on the mom train is always something to smile about. Little Leena has so many bug bites and was so itchy that I put oatmeal bath in her pool while she was playing. She seemed really pleased with it. (Beside the obvious fact that she just loves being outside.)

Joey loves his baby girl. They are two peas in a pod.

He was showing her and I how to get the seeds out of our dried up clover flowers to put in seed paper. :)

I always love catching this look out of the corner of my eye. Even when I don't think I am beautiful he reminds me just how beautiful I am to him.

Donna and her family is one of the biggest blessings in my life.

I never ever in my life thought I'd have such a close knit group of friends and sense of community that I do from the internet. People I have never physically met but know worlds about. Friends. Family. People who only want to lift me up and encourage me. You all know who you are. I want to say "Thank you" to all of you. Yet another reason I am completely blessed.

Speaking of wonderful friends. Laura sent me this lovely headband as a gift. I am in love. She also sent me the cutest jumper in the world, I however am not comfortable in my body while wearing it. It isn't the right fit for me. It will make one girl very very happy and I can't believe she took the time out to make me something so very special. She is so amazing. She totally understands and appreciates me being honest with her on if I (100%) was or wasn't happy with her surprise. That is true friendship. It should be easy to be honest with friends. They will love you either way.

I know I have long eyelashes but sometimes they even surprise me! hehe This headband was perfect with my outfit.

My friend Renee and I started a tradition of going out to eat with the kiddos every now and then to the same restaurant, eating the same things. Creatures of habit. That restaurant has since closed and now that I am a pescatarian it makes it much harder to go out to eat out here. I did her daughter's two year photos this Saturday and we decided, restaurant or not we need to hang out more. Leena and I went over for a play date today and had a blast. We ate lots of goodies. It was a special day, why not! Her and Ava had fun running around together and then even ran around naked in all their two year old glory, avoiding the turned on sprinkler like the plague. The puddle it created however, the puddle was a blast for them!

Leena had a love affair with the Cheez-it box.



Ava had an affair with the Oreos.


There is nothing better than watching your naked two year old run around with an equally naked and adorable two year old. Giggling, talking, enjoying life for all that it has to offer. That my friend's is one of the quintessential feelings of being blessed.

I am truly blessed. Plain and simple.

Peace and love.

P.S. I forgot to mention that I LOVE my second job. (1st being mommy and wife, 2nd being photographer)
I got to catch up with friends expecting their wonderful son.

And photograph two incredible girls who have an even more incredible bond.

All in one week. SCORE!

4 comments:

Your Street Photography said...

I love reading your blog posts. We should be long distance best friends.

bundtcake said...

im in love with this post. its so easy to lose sight of how blessed we are...im more guilty of this then anyone I know. you inspire me to strive to be a better person and to appreciate my babies more and even all the chaos they cause. Love you in a totally friendship sort of way :D lol

Violet Bella said...

im so happy you are feeling all of your blessed-ness! i guess thats a word, if not, it is now! you do have alot of blessings in your life, and its a wonderful joy when they are fully realized. you look so adorable in your headband! and again, im so glad you were able to be honest with me, our bond has become something real, even if it is virtual. i thank you equally for your friendship.

O Bella Naturals said...

You are beautiful, inside and out. And you certainly count your blessings, and they are innumerable! I love your family, and that you and Joey have such a great home for Leena. It's always encouraging for me as another momma, I have those days, where I get frustrated or downtrodden, the nice part about it though is wanting to be better, I think that's the most important. I am praying for your journey to california! I feel the same way, I'm so glad to have found myself in a little community, whether I've met you in person or not. :)